The Tough Decision

Monday, April 19, 2010

Well folks, this is withut a doubt one of the toughest things I have had to deal with in my life.  The other I went to the hospital in Colorado Springs and they put me into this crazy cast/splint thing.  The doc then recommended highly that I get an appointment with a hand specialist asap on Monday when they open up. He was pretty certain that I have some muscular/tendon/ligament damage in the palm and lower thumb joint areas of that left hand and that if I want to make sure I heal properly, I should definitely get it checked out.

This is the main thing I have been worried about.  While this ride is a huge deal to me, and I have this deep, deep, need to always finish what I start, I also want to make sure I am not putting myself at some later risk by not letting my hand recover.

So now what has happened is this: it is the 19th and I am still in mid-Colorado, with a huge cast on, and probably needing to stay here another night to see this specialist.  Where this puts me is in a place, honestly, I just do not want to be.  I am not willing to extend this journey more time, honestly, I can't really afford to do that.  I need to get back to work at some point soon.  I also really want to go to the Regionals the second weekend of May.  But that is really secondary to all this.  The main thing is knowing that if I continue this ride, it's not going to be for another couple days.  At that point I will be at least a week behind schedule, and I will be moving at a carefully slower pace than before.

This is eating me up and causing a pretty tough feeling of depressed failure for me to say this not only to all of you, but to myself, but I am going to have to cut my losses here and cancel the rest of my ride.

I hate myself for this, and I feel like this is letting everyone down a ton.  It will be cause of many hours of lost sleep until I finally get myself back on the bike to do it again; not from where I left off, but from start to finish.

I don't know what else to say really, but to hide my head in shame for a little bit, then pick myself back up and make the best of the situation by working out a ton, and getting back home to get back to work a week early.

I apologize for this happening everyone, I hope you know that there is nothing I struggle with more than not being able to do something I attempt to do.  And believe me, I will be doing many, many more crazy adventures for charity for the rest of my life, so I guess this is something I need to learn to cope with.  I am sure it will happen again at some point.

I'll be posting up another video soon, and probably a couple more posts to recapture the adventures that I had, so please keep following along here.  In a week or so, this blog will all be transfered over to my company site, where I hope all of you can continue to follow the adventure that is my life!

Thank you all!

Josh Courage

7 comments:

Tom Brose said...

Josh, please stop apologizing. You have let NO ONE Down. You set out to do something (which is more than most will ever do), you put yourself at risk and you're suffering a setback. I know you'll be bummed beyond consolation, but your effort is still an inspiration. Get healthy, its a lifetime undertaking you are on.

Again, be proud of your effort, and in time you will finish the ride. Thanks for setting the bar high for the rest of us mere mortals!

Josh Courage said...

Thank you Tom. You are right, and believe me, I will be back to my crazy old self in no time. I appreciate the words and I really, really appreciate your support.

I'll be in to train a bit in prep for regionals!

Unknown said...

When you are 95 years old, roaring down the highway on your hover-board, you will be so glad you did the right thing and let this wound heal right. Lots and lots of journeys and adventures ahead!

SaltyHat said...

Josh, I'm sure the pain of making this decision must seem many times worse than the physical pain in your hand, and so I hope I can assuage just a little bit of that when I say: you are making the right decision. You have many more adventures ahead of you and will need a body that can get you where I know your heart wants to go. Besides, I get the feeling this ride hasn't been called off, but merely postponed.

You are truly an inspiration, and I can't wait to see what you have in store next. For now though, take care and heal well.

Chris Sheppard

edgy reggie said...

Josh, you have no need to apologize to anyone...including yourself. Try to not beat yourself up over your decision. You will have many more chances to repeat this endeavor; this is just a setback and is not a failure in any way.

Rest up, heal up, and prepare for the next (big) adventure. We, the CrossFit community and your supporters, still have the May 1 workout to accomplish. I will continue to wear my "Ride with Courage" t-shirt at my workouts.

Thanks for being an inspiration.

Keep your head up!

Unknown said...

Oh, Josh! I am so sorry that this has happened. It would be a shame for you to hang your head for even one minute! Shed a little tear in disappointment and get back to healing. You have accomplished so much throughout this endevor...the organization of the whole adventure, getting through, I think, the hardest physical part--snow, wind, mountains, unpeopled areas--you know that next time you will be even more prepared. One just cannot plan for accidents like you have had. My only suggestion (and you know I will have one) is that you really listen to what the doctor and pt people say. Making sure that hand is properly healed will only do you well down the road! Love you kiddo! Take care on the way back.

Brendan Berry said...

Josh, you've made a lot of people proud to know you and inspired us all. The simple fact of getting as far as you did, for a charitable cause is a tremendous feat in and of itself. The important thing now is to get yourself healthy and on to your next adventure. A famous man once said something along the lines of "Some people live their entire lives wondering if they've made a difference in this world; men like you don’t have that problem.”

While I’m at it, here’s another quote you might have seen before:
“It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement; and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”
Theodore Roosevelt

Keep you're head up, we'll see you back at crossfitdc.